Movie Rules

Roger Ebert has written a list of movie rules/cliches. I thought it was very funny, so I made a compilation of my favourites. The complete list is here:

1. Camel, Slow-Moving

All camels in Middle Eastern thrillers are crossing the road for the sole purpose of slowing down a pursuit vehicle.


2. Climbing Villain

Villains being chased at the end of a movie inevitably disregard all common sense and begin climbing up something—a staircase, a church tower, a mountain—thereby trapping themselves at the top.


3. Down Under Rule

No film set in Australia is allowed to use the word Australia in its title where "Down Under" is an acceptable alternative. For example, we don't get THE RESCUERS IN AUSTRALIA or QUIGLEY IN AUSTRALIA.


4. Fifty-five Gallon Drum Rule

Fifty-five-gallon drums are a culturally-rooted symbol of evil, because they usually contain a substance with a long name that we can't identify. The more drums, the more evil.


5. Idiot Plot

Any plot containing problems which would be solved instantly if all of the characters were not idiots.


6. Joel Silver Rule

All women in action-adventure flicks are extraneous to the plot unless naked or dead.


7. Third Hand

Invisible appendage used by Rambo in RAMBO, in the scene where he hides from the enemy by completely plastering himself inside a mud bank. Since it is impossible to cover yourself with mud without at least one hand free to do the job, Rambo must have had a third, invisible, hand. This explains a lot about the movie.

-The Shy Hipster